Monkey Shines

On her album, “Live At Last”, Bette Midler told the story of her encounter with a woman walking down 42nd street.

The lady was humongous and wore a big, blue house dress peppered all over with little white daisies. She was almost bald but sitting on her forehead was a fried egg.  Bette went on to say that she thought of that lady every day.

“Oh God,” she’d say to herself, “Oh God, don’t let me wake up tomorrow and want to put a fried egg on my head. Oh God.”    Then she’d say real fast, “Oh God, if by chance I should wind up with a fried egg on my head (cause sometimes you can’t help those things you know, you can’t), don’t let anybody notice.”   And then she’d say real fast after that, “If they do notice that I’m carrying something that’s not quite right and they want to talk about it, let ‘em talk about it but don’t let ‘em talk so I can hear, I don’t want to hear it, because the truth about fried eggs, you can call it a fried egg, you can call it anything you like, but everybody gets one, some people wear ‘em on the outside, some people they wear ‘em on the inside.” Read more…

Last Monday morning was grey and dreary. Jane and I were doing our usual 7AM carpool to work. There, lying against the concrete barrier on the inside lane of the highway, I saw an inflatable doll, fully inflated, wearing a lacy bra and panties. She looked as surprised to be there as I was surprised to see her. It made me start thinking of all the things I have seen on the side of the road.

When I first moved to Texas, I lived with my parents in Fort Worth. To get home, I liked to take a couple of shortcuts which led me through pastures that were full of wildflowers and big, fat, happy cows. Mind you, I was still new to Texas after moving from suburban Boston. The sight of a cow by the side of the road still caught me by surprise. Frankly, after 25 years, it still does. Read more…

This has been a tough week for me.

I was working on blog piece last Sunday about my family history. My grandparents owned a fine furniture making company in the Boston area. They specialized in beautiful early American and English furniture styles, mostly made of mahogany. The business was passed to my Uncle Tony who eventually retired to South Carolina. My cousin Tony took over the business after his father retired.

I could not remember the address of the company, but remembered that the original site of their business was in an old carriage making factory that was torn down and turned into what is now a famous landmark in Boston.
Read more…

I have this vision. I am dressed like a ninja, gripping my trusty Florian Ratchet-Cut gardening pruners. I sneak from desk to desk and…snick…snick…snick….cut the heads off of every rose in all the bouquets delivered to the office for Valentine’s Day.

There is nothing like Valentine’s Day to make single women feel like Janice Ian at seventeen.
Read more…

Houston has two seasons. Winter, which starts around mid-December, is when the entire city bundles up in coats and gloves and scarves and complains that the 40 degree temperature is bone-numbing. Summer, which starts about Valentine’s Day, is when we rev up the AC and life is back to normal. Some days, the humidity is so bad that it’s like breathing through a wet dog, but those of us who are over thirty appreciate that it keeps us from getting all wrinkly.
Read more…

November 5, 2008

After all was said and done, this was quite an experience. The power in my house was off for almost three weeks. I had no telephone service or internet connection for over a month. The office was closed for over two weeks.

I’d like to share with you what I learned.
Read more…

January 27, 2009

Jane and I moved to the Garden Villas area of Houston within a year or so of each other. It’s a great neighborhood to live in. The lots are large – about an acre. The roads are lined with huge old pecan trees that arch over the middle of the streets.
Read more…

I have two sisters (Susan and Karen) and two brothers (John and George). I was the second born, arriving a year after Susan – actually, one year, twenty seven days, four hours and ten minutes. Karen was born four years later, and then came John two years after Karen. Mom and Dad waited ten years to surprise us with George. Actually, I think George surprised all of us, but that’s another story.
Read more…

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I’ve talked a little about our neighborhood. Truthfully, the neighborhood is divided into three sections.

We have the upper crust who live in the streets to the north. They have big houses, landscaping, maids, masseuses, part-time jobs and more fun. That’s where Maryanne and Kennon live.
Read more…

November 02, 2008

So. Hurricanes should never be allowed to hit when it is dark outside. That’s my new rule.

Friday night at about 6 PM the winds started picking up. Until then, it had been a picture perfect day – sunny with a few clouds, a light breeze. Had I not been watching the news, I would never have known Ike was approaching. Near our neighborhood, homeless people live under a bridge that spans Sims Bayou. I wonder if they had any idea what was coming?
Read more…